Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
