Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
