Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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