No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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