Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
