if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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