I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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