oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
