the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
