alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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