listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
