I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
