ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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