the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
