I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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