I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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