Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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