Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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