Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
