She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
