just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
