Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
