This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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