Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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