i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
