I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
