id be glad to
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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