I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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