Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
