Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
