maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
