she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Less talking, more tequila
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize