I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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