I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
