it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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