ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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