Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
did i just pee glitter
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
