If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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