So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
