i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
