I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
