The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
