They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
