Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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