Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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