Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
