Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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