This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
