I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
