i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
