Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
