In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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