dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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