It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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