people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
