You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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