she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
