Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
