Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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(815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe

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(604): View more from British Columbia

her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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(604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.

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(651): It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits. http://tfl.nu/7qz9

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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(608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(641): Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout. http://tfl.nu/rilo

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(614): View more from Ohio

I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner

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(614): I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner http://tfl.nu/04vf

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(804): View more from Virginia

Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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(804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you

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(973): I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you http://tfl.nu/07bs

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(989): View more from Michigan

A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz

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(989): A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz http://tfl.nu/g5b4

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(949): View more from California

I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.

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(949): I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door. http://tfl.nu/w7kk

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(315): View more from New York

I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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(315): I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you http://tfl.nu/9k47

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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(339): Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys. http://tfl.nu/p4yk

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Slow dancing with the chandelier.

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(828): Slow dancing with the chandelier. http://tfl.nu/w34r

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.

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(501): I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/edkm

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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(484): HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again http://tfl.nu/udnf

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