p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery