Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
