we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day