Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does