Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
