I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."