Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.