I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?