OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
